RANA: The Decline and Fall

[gtfa]

It's Friday, motherfuckers.

Greetings from the sunny (har-de-har) South Shore of NYC, where we
have ... more rain than I have ever seen in my life.
Goddammit.

And on a personal note, I extend my sympathies, as late as they are,
to the friends and family of Keith Alexander. To be completely honest,
he is one of the main reason why I even looked up RAB again. One of
the first things I did upon getting settled into NYC was to look him
up, because he was someone special that I had always wanted to meet
IRL. With the little bit I knew him here on the internet, I still have
many things he taught me that stay with me to this day. Not the least
of which is that information still wants to be free. Goddammit.

Please note that there is no longer a _specific_ bitchass award, as
the number of bitchasses has increased exponentially to the point
where calling them out by name would be, well, pointless. And they
aren't particularly amusing to me, either.

Without further ado, these awards cover the period beginning 12:00AM
August 11, 2006 ending 11:59PM Thursday night, September 7, 2006.
(There simply wasn't enough material to work within a single calendar
week. And I can tell you off the "stats" that 29.4% of posts for the
month of August were _completely_ without value. Sigh. And I need to
get me a real newsfeed.)



Most uses of the phrase "triple antibiotic ointment" in a single
sentence (two): Lara
Marie> So I do a search: "triple antibiotic ointment" tattoo" and what
Marie> comes up? Almost every single link says to use antibiotic
Marie> ointment on a new tattoo.
Lara> *snorfle*
Lara> Spot the kindergarten error in this logic.
Marie> My point was that in my search, the majority of tattoo sites
Marie> recommend you to use it on new tattoos.
Lara> Marie, you got mixed up. What you really found is that within
Lara> that subset of tattoo sites containing the string "triple
Lara> antibiotic ointment", the majority recommend triple antibiotic
Lara> ointment.

Best answer to the age old question of how many brain cells it takes
to extrapolate an answer (>6): i'll teach you to turn away.
> you can extrapolate your own answer on a&d if you have more than,
> oh, six brain cells.

Best booger lubrication method: Alan Truism
> I've been using neosporin (and various generic versions thereof) for
> 35 years or more. I like to smear it in my nostrils when I have a
> bad cold because it keeps my nose from cracking on the inside and
> lubricates my boogers.

Best interweb (hi yttrx!) summation: i'll teach you to turn away.
> the internet can't teach you everything.
> or, usually, anything.

Biggest ASCII Penis: Pastor Dave
>
> O
> /
> /
> <><[]()X()[]><>><>><>><>><>><>><>><>><>><>><>><>><>><>
> \
> \
> O
>
Quite a nutsack on there, but ya ain't got the cock ring in the right
place. Oh, and if you ever consider surgery, think *girth*.

Best explanation of what "Signal and Noise" do NOT mean: yttrx
> Signal and Noise do not imply "positive" and "negative", except to a
> fucking idiot who wouldnt know art if it was teabagging him...
Now I actually spent a bit of time pondering this one, and here is what
I came up with: I may not know art, but I know what I like. No wait,
that wasn't it. It was this: I cannot recall EVER having seen someone
_knowingly_ teabagged. Perhaps I run in the wrong my circles, but
_every_ teabaggee was blissfully ignorant. Ah, the lightbulb!

Best belly rocker: i'll teach you to turn away.
> i'm still vaguely considering a SOCIOPATH rocker across my belly.

Best explanation of why lish would kick yttrx's ass in a fair race:
yttrx> Because fat people run slow.

Worst interpolation of the famous apron phrase: yttrx
> Seriously. Don't you sometimes wonder what he gets up to in the
> middle of the night? Cant you see him with a "kiss the cook" apron,
> grilling up some little kid?
Now it has been awhile, but I am pretty _damn_ sure it is "kiss the
cock". Sheesh. And it makes more sense my way, too.

Best snowflake: KavinTaylor@gmail.com
> So, if I like snow I have to be a snowflake?
Well, you could always try being a snowball. *snorfle*

Best insurance that your customers know that you're a malicious,
homophobic little fucktard: yttrx
> Why are you doing everything you can to insure your customers know
> that you're a malicious, homophobic little fucktard?

Best apropos info: Razor Buzz
> GIVE HER THE FINGER: An unidentified woman in Corpus Christi, Texas,
> reported to police that her ex-boyfriend had mailed her his own
> finger. The finger represented "[my] last chance to touch you,"
> Robert Hanna, 34, wrote in a note included in the package. Postal
> Inspectors warned Hanna could face up to a year in federal prison
> for the mailing. The charge? "Mailing body parts without proper
> packaging." That's all they can think of, since "technically it is
> not illegal to send body parts" through the mail, said area Postal
> Inspector Vanessa Kimbrough. (Corpus Christi Caller-Times)
lish> this is good to know. also, oddly timely.
Oh come on, like there _isn't_ an appropriate time to be giving you
info about mailing body parts in the mail???

Best exercise in logic (non-kindergarten category): the sprout
curt> Oh, I believe Judy's watching.
yttrx> Shes not. You wouldnt know though, since shes yet another woman
yttrx> who thinks youre a revolting shitbag.
j> one of these statements is incorrect

Best *new* name for RAB: Charles, or as he prefers to be called,
"Charles PONSONBY Esq of merry Olde Englande"
> This place should be renamed fuckwits of the world unite,

Best general amusement: The Queen of Cans and Jars
OK, so some fuckwit just runs through a bunch of crap, nothing worth
repeating, and The Queen replies:
queen> Shut the fuck up, Hudson.
Mildly amusing, but pretty run of the mill. Then some other fuckfit
posts GOBS and GOBS of crap, I seriously snipped well over 30 lines
of BS here:
> <snip well over 30 lines of BS>
See? So I'm sitting here, falling asleep, trying to puzzle through
the aforementioned BS for _some_ thread of _something_ amusing (I
failed), when I wearily click on the next post, expecting more of the
same, and get:
queen> Shut the fuck up, Curt.
Bwahahahahahahahaha. Alright, mebbe you had to be there. At least I
can still get *Canadian Bacon*.
I think.

First post I can recall seeing about someone fearing their balls
getting in the way of an *ear* piercing: ellie_bailey@hotmail.com
> Can anyone tell me if having these balls will cause any problems.
Er, um, context?
> Hi, I've had my ear lobes pierced 10years ago. About 2 years ago
> they got very very infected so in the end i let them heal and close
> up. I would now like them re-pierced but they have small hard balls
> (about 3mm in diameter) where the hole used to be. I absolutely want
> my re-piercing to be through the same hole. Can anyone tell me if
> having these balls will cause any problems. Thanks

Best 1-2 punch: yttrx & The Queen of Cans and Jars
dance> I just got my cartilage pierced for the first time and am
dance> looking for a clear plug/retainer to hide it, but keep it open.
yttrx> GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY NEWSGROUP, ASSHOLE.
yttrx> Thanks in advance,
yttrx> -----yttrx
dance> Is there anyone out there who is NOT a complete prick who might
dance> care to give their advice?
queen> Nope.

Best summation in a single sentence: yttrx
yttrx> And Curt, youre still a motherfucking idiot who has no business
yttrx> on RAB at all, and never, ever did.

Best misspelling homo: yttrx
yttrx> Bitch, uk.people.bodyart is thataway ------------------------->
yttrx> So take your fucking pointless, worthless, meaningless HOWS THE
yttrx> WEATHER talk over fucking their, asshole.
yttrx> Thanks in advance,
yttrx> -----yttrx
yttrx> Wow, I cannot believe I just misspelled "there". I'm a homo.
yttrx> But curt likes children.
Huh-uh-uh. You called him butt-curt. Huh-uh-uh.

Best fly-blown tropical ulcer: Whinging Courier
WC> I won't be waking you up at all. You've got all the appeal of a
WC> fly-blown tropical ulcer.
<Isaac Hayes> Hey Baby. How about waking _me_ up? </Isaac Hayes>
Or not, whatever, I'm sure my ulcer is no where NEAR that good so I
haven't a chance.

Best Carnegie Hall reference: TMG
Cockburn Fan> How would someone even tattoo a penis?
TMG> Practice, Practice, 881 Seventh Avenue New York, NY

Longest road to the black man: I dunno, take yer pick:
TMG> A man in NY City flags down a cabbie, and asks "How do I get to
TMG> Carnegie Hall?"
TMG> Cabbie responds (wait for it, it's a 95 year old joke):
TMG> "Practice, Practice, Practice".
Kevin S. Wilson> You told it wrong. Why would he flag down a cabbie to
KSW> ask directions? And why wouldn't the cabbie say, "Get in the cab
KSW> and pay me to take you there"?
Rich Holmes> He didn't say there was a cab.
KSW> Then how did the first guy know that the second guy was a cabbie?
KSW> Huh? And exactly how did he "flag down a cabbie," if the guy
KSW> wasn't driving a cab? Finally, why do you hate America?
Rich Holmes> You're the one drawing unwarranted implications, mister.
RH> You're the one who seems to think there was a cab there, even
RH> though the original joke didn't mention one. The original joke
RH> didn't mention how he knew the second guy was a cabbie, either, or
RH> how he flagged him down. But you and your giant brane probably can
RH> "beg the question" and come up with something like he knew the guy
RH> was a cabbie because he'd ridden in the guy's cab a couple days
RH> before, and he flagged him down by taking off his red shirt and
RH> waving it around. Problem is, there is NO EVIDENCE he was wearing
RH> a red shirt, as much as you might like to think he was.
RH> People like you are what is wrong with America.
KSW> It always comes back to me being black, doesn't it?
"giant brane" ... ? Is that like, Freudian or something?

Best reference to our lord and savior Jesus Christ, worked into a barb
about tattoos on a penis: Otto Bahn
paul> i have four tattoos on my penis and the last thing on my mind was
paul> to keep it erect
Alan Truism> What was the first thing on your mind?
oTTo> The first thing was can the guy really make a tattoo that small.
oTTo> The next thing on his mind was the rapid firing of thousands of
oTTo> pain receptors.
oTTo> And on the third day it rose again.

Best career advice: Kevin S. Wilson
TeaLady> I can draw a hand. A good hand, not a cartoon glove. I can
TeaLady> draw feet, too. It's the stuff in the middle I don't do so
TeaLady> well.
KSW> Specialize in drawing images of Mr. Potato Head. PROFIT!

Best reason for me to kick the next person that calls me a "SYSPROG"
in the nuts: KavinTaylor@gmail.com
> tat artist? Do you think that shows repect for a persons ability?



-daver (email: gtfa AT biteboy DOT com)
"There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to
accept that his destiny's lost, the ship has sailed and that only a
fool will continue. The truth is I've always been a fool."

gtfa <gtfa.2dt997@no-mx.forums.yourdomain.com.au> wrote:

*snip*


Goddamn I'm glad you're back.




-----yttrx



--
http://www.yttrx.net

gtfa schreef:

> It's Friday, motherfuckers.
>
> Greetings from the sunny (har-de-har) South Shore of NYC, where we
> have ... more rain than I have ever seen in my life.
> Goddammit.<snip>


*Good to hear and read you again Daver :)

Corine

gtfa <gtfa.2dt997@no-mx.forums.yourdomain.com.au> wrote:
>> Inspector Vanessa Kimbrough. (Corpus Christi Caller-Times)
lish>> this is good to know. also, oddly timely.
g> Oh come on, like there _isn't_ an appropriate time to be giving you
g> info about mailing body parts in the mail???

you have a point.

also: look! the RANA portion of my sig has finally been able to
change! :D :D :D

i missed you terribly, daver. i live in seattle now. come visit!

lish "her hatred burns me to a cinder. my charred
crank@got.net remains keep crawling back for more." -ad
43.9% / 30 RANA 128 / 70