OT: A.I.'s next tattoo should be a skull and crossbones

A.I.'s next tattoo should be a skull and crossbones

Or so says the headline of a recent Gregg Doyel opinion piece.

Doyel offers:

Allen Iverson is toxic. As far as team chemistry goes, he is the
polonium 210 in the punch bowl. He will change addresses soon, from
Philadelphia to whichever NBA team is foolish or desperate enough to
trade for him. And almost immediately, that team's hair will fall out.
Its organs will fail.

It will be beautiful.

Because Iverson deserves this. He deserves to go down in history as the
Terrell Owens or Jeff George of his sport, someone whose immense
physical gifts were never enough to make him or those around him happy.
Iverson is among the most talented losers of all time.

But there is an NBA team that will mainline this venom into its veins
and then wonder, in six days or six weeks or six months, what the hell
happened to its health.

If Iverson were a coach, which would give him the freedom to change
addresses on a whim, he'd be Larry Brown, the restless and selfish head
case who goes from team to team like a locust, getting what he can in
terms of money and adulation and then moving on to the next town,
leaving behind an emotionally empty husk.

Yet there's always another team that will hire Larry Brown. Why?
Because this is the NBA. It's run by the desperate and the stupid,
handsomely paid knuckleheads willing to do anything to win a press
conference or sell a ticket. How dumb is the NBA? Isiah Thomas has a
great job with one of the sports world's cornerstone franchises. That's
how dumb the NBA is.

Iverson fans are out there -- I'd feel better if you people would
please not drive on the same streets as me -- and right now they are
pointing to his scoring and his assists and his passion. They are
saying: This is not a selfish guy. This is a team guy. He bleeds for
his team. He sweats and cries and lives and dies for his team.

Iverson, they will point out, is averaging 7.3 assists this season and
has averaged 6.1 for his career. How, his fans would like to know, can
a guy average that many assists and still be considered selfish?

And the answer is obvious. Iverson dominates the ball. Hogs it. And in
an NBA game, where possessions can last no more than 24 seconds, one of
two things is going to happen: He's going to shoot, or he's going to
have to give it up, whether from desperation or a sporadic show of
conscience or whatever. And when he finally does give it up, his
teammate is going to shoot. This is the NBA, you know. Everyone wants
their shots, and if you're playing with Iverson, shots don't come very
often.

And this being the NBA, the ball is going to go into the basket. So now
then, do the math. Count the number of possessions in a game. Even with
Iverson jacking up more shots than anyone in the league, more bad shots
than anyone in the league, there are still plenty of assists out there
for someone who hogs the ball.

Look at Gilbert Arenas. He averages 6.3 assists per game. I rest my
case.

Iverson is selfish in games, and beyond. Who can forget his rant about
the irrelevance of practice -- "we're talking about practice" -- or his
inability to jell with any of the complementary players the 76ers have
tried to pair with him. Keith Van Horn, Jerry Stackhouse, Chris Webber,
Glenn Robinson ... the 76ers have done what they could to find someone
Iverson could play nicely with. They failed.

Iverson has been with the 76ers since 1996, carving out a career that
will see him score his 20,000th career point this season, at age 31. If
he plays another five seasons and stays healthy, he will join Kareem
Abdul-Jabbar, Karl Malone, Michael Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain in the
NBA's 30,000-point club. Iverson's 28.1-point career scoring average is
third all time, a bucket behind Jordan and Chamberlain (30.1 each).

Still he's a loser. Iverson has spent a decade becoming a first-ballot
Hall of Famer -- and in that decade his franchise is a grand total of
15 games below .500.

Iverson doesn't deserve all the blame. The 76ers haven't exactly had a
Hall of Fame run of general managers or coaches in that time. But then
again, Iverson dictates the success, or lack thereof, of everyone in
the organization. The 76ers put the pieces around him. When those
pieces fail, the 76ers try new pieces. And new pieces. And new pieces.
At what point do we stop wondering about general manager Billy King's
competence, and start pointing the finger at Iverson?

Luckily for King, Iverson won't be his problem for long. 76ers coach
Maurice Cheeks, who played with superstars -- winning superstars like
Moses Malone and Julius Erving -- has decided not to put up with
Iverson's nonsense any longer. A trade will happen, and there's a
sucker GM out there who will look at the statistics on the back of
Iverson's trading card and overlook the corpses of past 76ers seasons.

The 76ers have died from an overdose of Allen Iverson, but there's a
general manager out there who will seek that fatal high. /From:
http://cbs.sportsline.com/columns/story/9863274

I prefaced the Subject title as OT because the article is entirely,
yes, apart from the word tattoo, off topic bodyart. However, Doyel's
comment re Iverson as, "someone whose immense physical gifts were never
enough to make him or those around him happy," is certainly apropos
RAB, imo. There are, apparently, many people who have tattoos and yet
remain disgruntled and seemingly panties-inna-bunch impaired. Pity.

--
Curt
http://curtjames.com/

His next tat will be a nugget.


"Curt James" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1166474837.517923.181890@80g2000cwy.googlegro ups.com...
> A.I.'s next tattoo should be a skull and crossbones
>
> Or so says the headline of a recent Gregg Doyel opinion piece.
>
> Doyel offers:
>
> Allen Iverson is toxic. As far as team chemistry goes, he is the
> polonium 210 in the punch bowl. He will change addresses soon, from
> Philadelphia to whichever NBA team is foolish or desperate enough to
> trade for him. And almost immediately, that team's hair will fall out.
> Its organs will fail.
>
> It will be beautiful.
>
> Because Iverson deserves this. He deserves to go down in history as the
> Terrell Owens or Jeff George of his sport, someone whose immense
> physical gifts were never enough to make him or those around him happy.
> Iverson is among the most talented losers of all time.
>
> But there is an NBA team that will mainline this venom into its veins
> and then wonder, in six days or six weeks or six months, what the hell
> happened to its health.
>
> If Iverson were a coach, which would give him the freedom to change
> addresses on a whim, he'd be Larry Brown, the restless and selfish head
> case who goes from team to team like a locust, getting what he can in
> terms of money and adulation and then moving on to the next town,
> leaving behind an emotionally empty husk.
>
> Yet there's always another team that will hire Larry Brown. Why?
> Because this is the NBA. It's run by the desperate and the stupid,
> handsomely paid knuckleheads willing to do anything to win a press
> conference or sell a ticket. How dumb is the NBA? Isiah Thomas has a
> great job with one of the sports world's cornerstone franchises. That's
> how dumb the NBA is.
>
> Iverson fans are out there -- I'd feel better if you people would
> please not drive on the same streets as me -- and right now they are
> pointing to his scoring and his assists and his passion. They are
> saying: This is not a selfish guy. This is a team guy. He bleeds for
> his team. He sweats and cries and lives and dies for his team.
>
> Iverson, they will point out, is averaging 7.3 assists this season and
> has averaged 6.1 for his career. How, his fans would like to know, can
> a guy average that many assists and still be considered selfish?
>
> And the answer is obvious. Iverson dominates the ball. Hogs it. And in
> an NBA game, where possessions can last no more than 24 seconds, one of
> two things is going to happen: He's going to shoot, or he's going to
> have to give it up, whether from desperation or a sporadic show of
> conscience or whatever. And when he finally does give it up, his
> teammate is going to shoot. This is the NBA, you know. Everyone wants
> their shots, and if you're playing with Iverson, shots don't come very
> often.
>
> And this being the NBA, the ball is going to go into the basket. So now
> then, do the math. Count the number of possessions in a game. Even with
> Iverson jacking up more shots than anyone in the league, more bad shots
> than anyone in the league, there are still plenty of assists out there
> for someone who hogs the ball.
>
> Look at Gilbert Arenas. He averages 6.3 assists per game. I rest my
> case.
>
> Iverson is selfish in games, and beyond. Who can forget his rant about
> the irrelevance of practice -- "we're talking about practice" -- or his
> inability to jell with any of the complementary players the 76ers have
> tried to pair with him. Keith Van Horn, Jerry Stackhouse, Chris Webber,
> Glenn Robinson ... the 76ers have done what they could to find someone
> Iverson could play nicely with. They failed.
>
> Iverson has been with the 76ers since 1996, carving out a career that
> will see him score his 20,000th career point this season, at age 31. If
> he plays another five seasons and stays healthy, he will join Kareem
> Abdul-Jabbar, Karl Malone, Michael Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain in the
> NBA's 30,000-point club. Iverson's 28.1-point career scoring average is
> third all time, a bucket behind Jordan and Chamberlain (30.1 each).
>
> Still he's a loser. Iverson has spent a decade becoming a first-ballot
> Hall of Famer -- and in that decade his franchise is a grand total of
> 15 games below .500.
>
> Iverson doesn't deserve all the blame. The 76ers haven't exactly had a
> Hall of Fame run of general managers or coaches in that time. But then
> again, Iverson dictates the success, or lack thereof, of everyone in
> the organization. The 76ers put the pieces around him. When those
> pieces fail, the 76ers try new pieces. And new pieces. And new pieces.
> At what point do we stop wondering about general manager Billy King's
> competence, and start pointing the finger at Iverson?
>
> Luckily for King, Iverson won't be his problem for long. 76ers coach
> Maurice Cheeks, who played with superstars -- winning superstars like
> Moses Malone and Julius Erving -- has decided not to put up with
> Iverson's nonsense any longer. A trade will happen, and there's a
> sucker GM out there who will look at the statistics on the back of
> Iverson's trading card and overlook the corpses of past 76ers seasons.
>
> The 76ers have died from an overdose of Allen Iverson, but there's a
> general manager out there who will seek that fatal high. /From:
> http://cbs.sportsline.com/columns/story/9863274
>
> I prefaced the Subject title as OT because the article is entirely,
> yes, apart from the word tattoo, off topic bodyart. However, Doyel's
> comment re Iverson as, "someone whose immense physical gifts were never
> enough to make him or those around him happy," is certainly apropos
> RAB, imo. There are, apparently, many people who have tattoos and yet
> remain disgruntled and seemingly panties-inna-bunch impaired. Pity.
>
> --
> Curt
> http://curtjames.com/
>

Curt James wrote:


<snip>


> I prefaced the Subject title as OT because the article is entirely,
> yes, apart from the word tattoo, off topic bodyart. However, Doyel's
> comment re Iverson as, "someone whose immense physical gifts were never
> enough to make him or those around him happy," is certainly apropos
> RAB, imo. There are, apparently, many people who have tattoos and yet
> remain disgruntled and seemingly panties-inna-bunch impaired. Pity.


Just out of curiosity, define 'happy'?

scandump@gmail.com wrote:
> Curt James wrote:
[...]

> > I prefaced the Subject title as OT because the article is entirely,
> > yes, apart from the word tattoo, off topic bodyart. However, Doyel's
> > comment re Iverson as, "someone whose immense physical gifts were never
> > enough to make him or those around him happy," is certainly apropos
> > RAB, imo. There are, apparently, many people who have tattoos and yet
> > remain disgruntled and seemingly panties-inna-bunch impaired. Pity.
>
> Just out of curiosity, define 'happy'?

I love that general question. Clarity, explanation, etc.

I'll lean on Webster:

Main Entry: hap·py
Pronunciation: 'ha-pE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): hap·pi·er; -est
Etymology: Middle English, from hap
1 : favored by luck or fortune : FORTUNATE <a happy coincidence>
2 : notably fitting, effective, or well adapted : FELICITOUS <a happy
choice>
3 a : enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment <is the
happiest person I know> <a happy childhood> b : expressing, reflecting,
or suggestive of happiness <a happy ending> c : GLAD, PLEASED <I'm
happy to meet you> d : having or marked by an atmosphere of good
fellowship : FRIENDLY <a happy office>
4 a : characterized by a dazed irresponsible state <a punch-happy
boxer> b : impulsively or obsessively quick to use or do something
<trigger-happy> c : enthusiastic about something to the point of
obsession : OBSESSED <education-conscious and statistic-happy -- Helen
Rowen>
synonym see LUCKY, FIT

And I'll note my preference is for 3 a.

Recently saw Will Smith's _The Pursuit of Happyness_.

Excellent.

Although much of it was less than happy. Movie definitely leaned
heavily on the The Pursuit of part of the title.

--
Curt
http://curtjames.com/

Norm³ wrote:

> His next tat will be a nugget.

[...]

There was an article bouncing around recently that Iverson had paid for
the funeral of a man who refused to give up his AI jersey to some
thieves. The man was shot and paralyzed! He was confined to a
wheelchair and eventually died.

Wonder if he'd still be alive if Iverson had been traded sooner.

--
Curt
http://curtjames.com/